Tweens is a term used to refer to kids (ages 9-12) who are transitioning to the pre-adolescent stage. The tween years will surely be a challenging transitional phase for the kids, and as parents, you need to help them easily cope with the physical and emotional changes that they have to go through while they transition from childhood to adulthood. Tweens are not the only ones who will have a difficult time adjusting during their pre-adolescent years. In fact, parents will go through tough times as well since tweens can get all grumpy and moody so this stage will certainly test your patience. But, this is not the time to fall short of it since your kids will need your support and guidance more than ever during their tween years.

What tweens really need from their parents at this stage is their patience and understanding. Parents should guide their kids as they go through puberty. As parents, you will have to explain to them what’s going on – the dramatic physical transformation as well as the emotional and sexual changes that are all taking place at the same time.

Dealing with tweens is perhaps the greatest challenge for parents. But it is important that parents closely guide pre-teens to ensure that they will be able to successfully pass through the pre-puberty stage. If they fail to guide tweens at this crucial stage in their lives, it is likely that they will take refuge from their peers who can pressure them to do drugs and drink alcohol. In addition, some may even demonstrate self-destructive behavior to get notice or to grab attention.

How Parents Should Deal With Tweens

Rather than scold them or argue with them, it would be best to continue giving positive feedbacks to pre-teens. Tell them that they are great just the way they are. At this stage, pre-teens are struggling to find their true self and amidst all the overwhelming changes happening in their lives (physically and emotionally, it is likely that they will lose sense of themselves. Pre-teens are entering a very fragile transitional phase, and they really need their parents to be there with them every step of the way.

At this critical developmental phase, it is vital to keep the communication line wide open. Parents must learn to embrace the changes that are taking place. You have to accept that your little angel has now turned into a matured adult who is already capable of making decision for himself/herself. Instead of being nostalgic, you have to embrace who they are today and not who they used to be.

While tweens are definitely going through a fragile state, you should never allow them to push your buttons. Never condone unacceptable behavior. Although you want to walk a mile on their shoes (in order to understand and relate to them), it is important that you act as parents and not as their friends. Enforce rules and set limits but not to the point of suffocating them. Most importantly, you need to give them enough freedom (not too much) and also learn to respect their privacy.

Read More

Young boys and girls going through puberty are a complicated and often moody bunch. They are reaching that stage in their lives where a lot is going on. Referred as tweens, kids transitioning to the pre-adolescent phase are basically caught in two worlds – they are too young to be considered teens but they are not kids anymore either. Of all people, parents should understand what tweens (a term referring to preteens) are going through. You have also gone through the pre-teens stage and you surely had a hard time dealing with this crucial developmental phase in life.

As parents, you need to put yourself in the shoes of your kids to be able to easily relate to them. It is true that kids today are different from the past generations. Because of this, most of the time, parents and pre-teens don’t usually get to agree on things. If your kids are approaching the transitional phase of development (called as the pre-puberty stage), then they are not only dealing with external changes but also internal changes as well.

We know for a fact that the arrival of relevant hormones can have a direct effect on one’s emotions and moods. Just imagine, powerful doses of testosterone and estrogen running through your body. They are developing not just physically but also intellectually, emotionally and mentally.

One of the challenges that tweens will likely face these days is the fear of rejection. At this stage, the rules of ‘being cool’ has changed. Their friends are beginning to change as well. They begin to feel deep attraction towards the opposite sex. On top of this, their physical appearance is also dramatically transforming. They start to pay great importance on how they look. They also become too concerned about how others will perceive of them. The possibility of getting rejected and becoming socially isolated also increases at this stage.

Tweens are usually consumed by their desire to be one with the herd. They are at that stage in life wherein they crave for attention and recognition. Some pre-teens, particularly the weaker ones, worry about bullying in school. Bullying is very common especially in middle school. This issue, as a matter of fact, has become a great concern among parents. There have even been reports of tweens committing suicide because of too much bullying in school.

Transitioning from childhood to adulthood is a tough time for tweens. That’s why some eventually give in to the challenges and pressures. For this reason, tweens may also have to battle with depression. Pre-adolescence can put tweens in a great deal of pressure, and this can significantly increase their anxiety level. Though it is quite hard to believe that kids as young as nine years old can suffer depression, it is very much possible, especially in today’s generation. Tweens, these days, mature so quickly that they even start dating at a very young age. The dating scene can, therefore, bring more anxiety to their life and thus increasing the possibility of getting depressed. For the parents, it is important that you are aware of the signs of depression so you can easily help your kids overcome and cope with the situation without having to resort to medications or therapy.

Read More